So i stole that headline title from an email Carl sent me and added a little something extra to it (lol.) But that is still the basic concept of this post today.
Last night Carl and I spent over 3 hours on the telephone with one another, we made it our 'date night' spending the time in front of the television watching a movie 'together' (well as closely as together we could be) chatting about our day, thoughts of letters we received from one another the exact same day and emails we had reflected on; and some short time in prayer.
We had some great conversations as well as just fun knowing that all though we were apart we were still close.
Praise God for Cellular phones otherwise I'm not too sure how this relationship would be working for us lol!
Overall it was exactly what my heart needed (bear with me now this really does have a point to it.) Truth be told for over a week I've felt distressed and as if their was something lacking in my relationship with Carl and not because neither of us weren't doing the right things or talking enough but just because I'm a woman and have too many emotions to deal with all at once..lol.
Their is definitely stress in a long distant relationship. It isn't all exactly a bed of roses. Carl and i have our ups and we still have our down and even times when we get annoyed with each other things that are common in every relationship, but what makes it really hard for at least me is the fact that we don't get to have 'date nights;' where we go out and do something fun to relieve the tensions that can come during a week of leading two different lives. And even though Carl and i have talked just about every single day this week there was still a gap between us. And Friday night helped to close that gap.
We may not have been in the same room but we were both still sitting down, watching the same movie in different places, on the phone with one another not having to speak much but just laughing and having a good time. It was a night where we just 'were still' with each other. And it was good....very good. What my soul was longing for.
Now all of this as I've said before does have a point. Sometimes we can spend every day with God. We will read our bibles, pray, have our time of worship but even in the midst of those things be distracted by what we've got next to do on our list; whether it be to get ourselves out of bed and go to work or to get ourselves to bed so we can get up and go to work the next day. We can still spend time with God and not feel like it was enough, and not be satisfied with that time but always wondering when a day would come where we wouldn't be surrounded by those distractions that keep our minds from him.
Then that time comes when we don't have something left to do on our list when we can just go be with God and have fun. Where we laugh with him or we cry with him or just tell him what he means to us and we spend minutes and even hours doing so with him. Not having to worry about the phone ringing or having to get up early for work the following day. We feel completely in his presence even when physically we are so far away from him.
I look back to last night and the time that i spent with Carl - just being still, not in a hurry, not worrying about having to go to work the next day, not wondering what else i should have gotten done before he called me but just being still with him, listening/watching a movie together, listening to him play the piano, chatting until we both couldn't keep our eyes open and praying that God would help bring us peace - and i think to myself how often i need that same kind of fun, laughing, praying, crying, peaceful time to just be in God's presence and not having to want more.
There will be times in the coming months where talking on the phone with Carl is not going to be satisfactory and i would probably be concerned if it was. But the same will come when reading my bible, and praying and being at church will not be satisfactory to my soul. Because just like i ultimately long to be with Carl in his physical presence i long the same to be with my Lord. I long for heaven, i long for real live personal conversations with Christ, i long for his hugs, and for his touch, i long to hear his voice and my soul won't be completely satisfied until it fully rests in Heaven with My SAVIOR. Just like i won't be fully satisfied with the telephone in my relationship with Carl. And i don't think i should settle....
Relationships just like life take time...and time isn't bad...it is just what it is. So as i continue to find ways to relax and have 'dates' with my boyfriend...i will continue to talk, pray, worship my savior from a distance...(in the physical aspect)...but just as Carl and my relationship grow from a distance, so will my relationship with Christ and all that time spent on the 'phone' will someday have its sweet reward in heaven and I will hug my savior, and i will kiss him and worship him and laugh with him and cry with him and
just be with Him.
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