The more I "grow" in life, the more I see so much to grow in. It is overwhelming to see myself called to the ministry or to any aspect of a sincere, from the heart, Godly life. It is not the first time I have been overwhelmed all at once with the need to change. This instance just has even more responsibilities than before to bring into accordance with Godliness.
With the advent of my son, Zachary, imminent, I feel my own nesting to become disciplined, organized and in control. These are good sparks to start the fire but it is not the fire. By repeat occurence I have seen my personal devotion sparked by inbred desires for a job well done pointed at Godly aims to still fall far short of that Godly aim. The power is enough; it is not wholy rooted in God's strength.
It is still confounding that the greatest growth is to decend, humbly submitting to God's work, commands and power. Still more confounding is that this still begins with prayer. Yet as confounding as it is, it is the biggest relief in the overwhelming flood.